Work with Me Here

Seriously, get your ASS to work! And WORK!

Cough and Get It Done With

This is day 7 of the cough/throat clearing. Jesus H, he needs to get over it. Or the bottom of it, or what ever he freakin' says. I know, I sound angry...AND I AM.

Naiveté

Did you know it is IMPOSSIBLE to get hit while in a parking garage? Did you also know it is IMPOSSIBLE to cough from animal allergies? Did you know that if you are out of Motrin, you are more than likely also out of IBUPROPHEN? Did you know that you cannot cure a common cold with over the counter medication? (And buddy, no matter how hard you try, you ain't going to, so stop trying, because if you did THAT , it would be published in the JAMA!)

Let's start making that little jump from what you KNOW to be true, and what MIGHT be possible. A little COMMON SENSE goes very far!

Worried Sick

Apparently some people really worry themselves into sickness. If a couple unfortunate events, but no loss of life or limb, constitutes the worst week of someone's life, then I really need to reevaluate the severity of the life I have led. I am pretty sure, if that is the gauge, then I would be dead by now from worry. GET OVER IT people.

New Word

Flavorite= your favorite flavor of something.

Enlightenment

There is NO appropriate time to talk about the stuff dripping from your nose down the back of your throat.

More I didn't know I didn't know

That diseases passed to you by your spouse are at the same time not contagious to co-workers. Um, yah, that makes sense.

Cough, cough, c-c-c-humpt--c-c-cough.

EWWW

Sense of Freedom

It is amazing what a sense of freedom there is when certain personalities are removed from the office. This might be equated to the closest thing to vacation work can be :)

Oh-bitch-uary

This is what will be written when I die. Please not in the Post though, ok?

Oh Mommy!

Answering your office phone "Hi, mommy!" ??? You just need to leave that crap at home.

Diggin' Around

Sometimes there are sounds that come out of people's offices that imply they are diggin' to China in there. Don't they know that this isn't possible?

Shufflers

Sloopa, sloopa, sloopa, is the sound I hear as he shuffles past my office. PICK YOUR GOD DAMN FEET UP. (Phew! Feel better now that that is out.) I know you don't get out much, but when you do, go all out, lift the feet, breath in deep, and relish in the fact that you are MOVING! It is 10AM you know, and maybe you wanna act like you have actually been awake more than 2 hours and 27 minutes (27 because it took 24 to get here, and 3 for you to throw on your slacks!)

Booogy Man

Yah, he's back in the phone lines again apparently. If a number doesn't register in caller ID, it must be the BOOOOGY MAN calling!